Heroism in SFF

Cedar Sanderson has been wondering about the absence of truly heroic figures in modern fiction, and SFF in particular. What she is interested in, in particular, are role models:

What I’m specifically talking about is looking for role models in books of heroes. We all know that heroism is sometimes the quiet acts of life, unnoted and uncelebrated. But the characteristics of a hero in a book: loyalty, duty, honor, love of fellow man, and a willingness to lay down his life for his friends… that’s what I’m looking for. Someone to inspire hero-worship in the readers who get to know them.

And so asked her readers to come up with lists of characters in SFF novels that they "imprinted on" as younger readers. Her framing of the request is a little strange:

A list of role models for young men, and also for young women, to look for in husbands or wives
....
I wanted to create a list – and it wound up being a twinned list – of books for young people who are looking for a hero, for a role model that will influence their selection of a mate later in life.

As is the presentation of the results as two lists:

1. A List of Books for Big Girls. Specifically, a list of male heroes for young women to aspire to as potential husbands.
2. A List of Books for Big Boys. Specifically, a list of "strong female lead characters who can serve as role models for what to look for in a Lady when it comes time to seek a life partner, but the same in being a list of characters that can inspire hero-worship."

I have some problems with the framing, but I'll set that aside without further comment.

As for the lists, I haven't read many of the novels in question (I think many of them are self published and/or are friends of the author):

Strong Female Characters (Sanderson's list for 'Big Boys')

• Cordelia Naismith-Vorkosigan from Lois McMaster Bujold’s Vorkosigan series. 
• Faith Smith and Sarah Jane Smith from John Ringo’s zombie series. 
• Barbara Everette from John Ringo’s Special Circumstances 
• Kate Daniels from Ilona Andrews Magic series. 
• Mercy Thompson from Patricia Brigg’s werewolf books. 
• Honor Harrington from David Weber’s series
• Tinker, from Wen Spencer’s Elfhome series. 
• April, from Mackey Chandler’s Home series. 
• Echo Sackett, from Louis L’Amour’s book Ride the River 
• Eilonwy from the Prydain books. 
• Telzey and Trigger from James Schmitz’s books. Leewit! 
• Margo Green held her own in Preston & Child’s Relic 
• Star from Heinlein’s Glory Road 
• Gretchen from Eric Flint’s 1632 Series. 
• Elizabeth Moon’s series with Esmay de Suiza and Herris Serrano…I think it’s called the Familias Regnant series? 
• Elizabeth in the Colplatschki Chronicles by Alma TC Boykin

Strong Male Characters (Sanderson's list for 'Big Girls')

• Caine Riordan from Chuck Gannon’s Fire books. 
• Harry Dresden. 
• Travis Long from David Weber’s The Manticore Ascendant series. 
• Steve Maxwell from Peter Grant’s Take the Star Road series 
• Jack Holloway from H Beam Piper’s Fuzzy series. 
• Bahzell Bahnakson from David Weber’s 
• Pete Brumbar from Lloyd Behm’s Martian series. 
• Finn the sometimes-dragon from Dave Freer’s Dog and Dragon series. 
• Jake Sullivan from Larry Correia’s Hard Magic series. 
• Xen Wolfson from Pam Uphoff’s Gods and Wine series. 
• Earl Harbinger, conversely, and Owen Pitt, from Larry Correia’s Monster Hunter series. 
• Tom the definitely-a-dragon from Sarah Hoyt’s shifter series. 
• Tarzan, John Carter, Carson of Venus, all from Edgar Rice Burrough’s series and books. 
• Pretty much any Louis L’Amour book… they do have strong adults who are good role models; not wanting trouble but meeting it head-on when it comes…. 
• Conrad from This Immortal by Zelazny 
• Mannie from RAH’s The Moon is a Harsh Mistress 
• Edward from Rob Howell’s A Lake Most Deep 
• Captain Pausert from James Schmitz’s Witches of Karres, and Dave Freer’s follow-on, Wizard of Karres. 
• Heinlein’s “Space Cadet”. 
• John Christian Falkenberg, from Jerry Pournelle’s Co-Dominion universe. 
• Black Jack Geary and Tanya Desjani from the Lost Fleet series. (I believe this is Jack Campbell’s work) 
• Wilson Cole from the Starship series by Mike Resnick. 
• Corran Horn from I, Jedi by Michael Stackpoole. 
• Dalinar Kholin and Kaladin from the Way of Kings. 
• Tryton from Ben Hales Warsworn series. 
• Ishmael Horatio Wang (pronounced Wong) in the “Golden Age of the Solar Clippers” series by Nathan Lowell. 
• Mighty Mike O’Neal from John Ringo’s Posleen series 
• Hadrian and Royce from the Riyria Revelations series (by Michael J Sullivan)

I haven't read more than a few of these books and so am unable to comment on their suitability. 

For myself, however, I prefer my heroes to be flawed. I want them to feel real. And I want their heroism to seem attainable by people like me who are also flawed; not the result of some nobler than thou quality that they have. Perhaps I am being unfair ... some of the heroes from the list that I do know seem to grow into their heroism.